Boys.Brains.and Books.

The last few weeks have been a kind of whirl wind that i'm not sure I could fully explain if I wanted to; So many mixed emotions and frustrations. I met this guy, Nick, through a mutual friend, er, one of my best friends boy friends really. And at first I thought he was a slam dunk in the good guy department..but lately it's starting to feel like he's going to turn out to be just. like. every. other. douche. bag. lol. I was honest to him about some of my "issues", the ones i'm not honest to many people about..and that's when he started acting weird. And now i'm not sure if I even want him around...i'm not sure what I want at all anymore.

I feel like i'm nowhere. Jo, my shrinkadink diagnosed me bipolar this past week. She started me on a mood stabilizer, and i've prayed every moment of every day that it offers me some relief. I don't want this to define anymore of my life than it already has. And I feel so ready to start my life, it's so frustrating. For people who have never gone through a mental disorder or anxiety or anything, consider yourself blessed and favored. It's truly crippling.

Work is going good still, i'm so very blessed. I couldn't be happier. I'm really going to try to start excercising again...it may kill me but I have to try. I feel so gross and just blobby. And I want to start crafting again and maybe selling things. So hopefully soon!!

Also i'm currently reading the fifty shades of grey trilogy. which im sure i dont really need to explain ;) oh baby. it is good. i'm not normally a romance/fantasy reader but it is a sweet story line with some sexy tid bits in thurrr. give it a whirl.


XOXOX
Deezy.