Time for a change.

As you well know the last few weeks have been...difficult for me. My depression disorder is being a real wench. .. and ive gained some weight..emo eater for sure. So tomorrow I take back my body. I may not be able to fix my mind but by God I will control something.

Goal for tomorrow. No carbs!!! Excercise!!!


i'll do a mile. ten jumping jacks, ten push ups, ten sit ups, and other yoga exercises.

Anyway. My friend Bekka is moving back to new york. which i think is infact probably best for her..but it will be harder for me to visit.
:[

anyway.
i should head to bed.
see you guys tomorrow. :D

XOXOX,
Deezy.

Tropical Storm Debbie.

This is just awesome. And I want all the laughs I can get. :)


Well, Today I worked in another town about twenty miles from the home base. It's so much more low key, it kinda makes me crazy. I just want some huge distraction.That's really the only reason I like the idea of being in a relationship. It's something to distract me from my thoughts, from myself. All the more reason that I shouldn't be in one, eh?
I digress...

New Products I've Tried..

uhm Tom's mouth wash. I have to say I am thoroughly impressed. It's all natural and not tested on animals. Tastes great and doesn't burn! You should try it.

maybe tmi, but Summer's Eve cleansing cloths [it's summer, i live in hellaciously hot FL] and the body wash as well. Love them. Clean scent and very delicate.

IPHONE 4! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. GET ONE...NOW!

I think that's pretty much it :)

I wish I was different, I wish I felt at home in my own skin, and my heart didn't exist.

I know it's been forever since I last wrote; Not that anyone reads this crap anyway. But nevertheless. Here I am a year later and I feel like I haven't moved an inch. I know I have. I have progressed in some tiny way; but honestly I feel like i'm still trying to break the waters surface. I feel more and more people drift away ; and myself really. I'm not sure who I am anymore or where I belong...So for now I just am.

I'm the girl that is crazy and irrational, and shy, and secretly daring, the girl that falls in love with the idea of things, who won't give her heart away because it was never really hers. The girl that loves even the people she shouldn't. The girl that wants to cure cancer, to sky dive, to write a book, to punch someone in the face.

I'm her. There's so much I could tell you about that girl. There's so much more I still have to find out.

Alot of people give up on me. Sadly, I dont know how to give up on them.

xoxox,
Deezy.