to be continued...

In the next few days  i'll be posting a forever 21 haul. I got a dress and two tops. I'll include prices and review. ALSO I have some major updating to do, as well as trying out some recipes so stay tuned!!

 

Love this! :) For your enjoyment!

OH AND CONGRATS TO MY TWINNY FOR BEING A LICENSED INSURANCE BROKER!! You go diva, i couldn't be prouder!!

 

fuuu.

My car is officially the hated bastard of my week. Replaced starter now we're onto an entirely different problem. I can't wait to go car shopping. In eight weeks my debt will be dwindled enough for me to go play hardball with some A-hole of a car salesman.
Not positive what i'm getting but hey that's half the fun , teheee

Anyway. Not too much else.

xoxox.

Step One: Get organized.

I'm starting a change my life by the new year challenge.
Instead of making a crappy new years resolution that I never end up keeping i'm starting now, right this moment and by the new year will have a shaped life that i am proud of.

Today I ...

Decluttered my life and got organized! You might think that sounds odd but it's proven that when everything has a home your mind is more at rest. Plus organization is another form of responsibility. I'm tired of living such a chaotic life...I need to build my own structure.

Tomorrow I will be going grocery shopping or monday, depending when my car is back on the road...to stock up on fruits and veggies. :) gotta start being healthy and treating my body right. Ya know? I've already made my list and have it built in my mind what i wanna do with it, just gotta get there.

I'm also gonna start trying to exercise three days a week and then move up slowly after that. I will probably never work out on tuesdays because of class, and by 8:15 i'm just too exhausted. But that can be my mid week vacay. haha.
I'm also going to keep blogging on here as well as keeping my own private journal as I start being very strict on my meds, hopefully this will show my progress. I really think these meds will work. I pray that they do.

Anyway,

That's all I have for now. ta ta for now my loves.

xoxox.

I didn't take this picture or anything but i've had it on my computer since I found it. I love it. It's absolutely true!

Eleven Years & One Day.

I couldn't put into words how I felt yesterday, today it's the same struggle but I feel like I need to. September 11th is one of the days I remember of my middle school years. I was in sixth grade, math. Mrs. Morris was from Boston, and i heard her strong voice stop, and in utter shock she reached and turned on the tv and for the remainder of the class it was pure silence. I remember trying to understand what was going on..and then when it finally hit me I was still at a loss for how to feel. I still am when I think about it. My first reaction is to be angry, then sad, then disgusted..then it just cycles.

*this is not my photo, i found it via google and loved it*.

I can tell you my theories on what really happened that day, who did something..who didn't...but that's not what that day is about. It's about the people that didn't have a choice, the people that weren't watching, but experiencing. I cannot imagine the fear and the panic that went into those last moments, the strong realization that some of them came to when they discovered they wouldn't make it out. When they realized they wouldn't see the people that they loved again, they'd never make another cup of coffee, or take the dogs out. I wonder if that's what you think about in the end? not all the things you haven't done but about all the days that made up your life. What your love smells like when you hug him. or her.

9/11 to me, will always be heartbreaking. It will always be a day that I just feel, transported back into that moment of confusion. Of just a sad awe. But what this tragic day did show us, was how incredibly brave the human race can be. How selfless.

My heart goes out to the loved ones that lost that day. My thanks to the heroes that didn't think twice about rushing in.

Rest in peace all that parished, I hope that the other side is much kinder to you.  I also want to thank and send a prayer up for all those who are still fighting for our freedom..no matter if I agree with the war or not, I still support you and your families and your beliefs ..the way you're selfless bravery has supported mine.



xoxox.

my little collage for my humanities class. last week.

It was last minute.. "oh crap i forgot my assignment was due" type deal. haha. I couldn't find a picta of my twinny that i already had printed or of my brother. i was super sad.
:C

but here it is none the less.

work.work.work.

Sunday. ahh. My one day weekend. woo. this week was a fifty six hour work week. Next week is a forty eight, but, I think it's great that I can get on track with bills and savings! I'm such a nerd to be so excited about this.

I made a detailed bill plan to pay off the credit card debt that I have! Yess. Gonna get my crap together and become responsible.. It's just time. If I ever want my life to be more than what it is I have to mold it into that. I've come to realize that being comfortable is the worst feeling in the world. 

As far as men & relationships go, I could not care less. My heart belongs to me and to God and it's going to take someone amazing to change that. And when God decides to send me him, then my heart will belong to that man of God & God himself. :)
  
Anyway, That's all I got, Ly.

 

time to make changes. on the real.

 

First, let me just explain why I picked this graphic- It's not because I don't have people to support me, I absolutely do.  It's about learning to love my failures and seeing the beauty in them. Seeing that every failed attempt was still an attempt. And that it's alright to break down and cry and get pissed as long as you get back up and move the hell on. :) 

NOW. 

ehem. so. I've devised a money/debt plan for the next few months so that by then end of January i'll be debt free and I will have savings! Suppperrrr excited about that. I cannot express how much that will mean to me. I also have decided to try to start dieting again in some fashion. Gotta go grocery shopping this weekend to get some stuff. Time to get serious about being healthy and more conscious about what I put in my body. I've already stopped drinking soda...except for the occasional one ..but they are very few and far between. And now i've decided to cut out fast food. Minus subway-i love it and just dont really count it as fast food. Sorry, i just dont. Also. I'm putting myself on a budget as far as personal spending goes. Have to. We live in too uncertain of times. Just the way it goes. Also I'm back in school and I loooove it. I feel like i'm using my brain and it's so nice to feel like I have some sort of purpose again. I'm not sure what my ambition is but its something. It's there, ya know? 

I'm so happy for my twinny as well, she's kickin' that new career's arse. Doin' that damn thing! 

Good for you DIVA! mwah! 

Oh and this week, Christmas shopping begins :)

2 people every pay period till the big day heyyy! 

Gotta be smart about that shit. 

xoxox,

Deezy.